Boldly Choose Joy

Today marks two years since the worst day of my life. I'm not going to re-live it in this post because I've already been doing that all day. You can read about it HERE.

This saying brings me a lot of peace:

I have a page-a-day calendar filled with positive/encouraging ideas and when thinking about the saying posted above, this one is certainly a beautiful message:

look at the date

I've held on to this page for almost a month now. Why? Maddy's birthday was July 23.

Serendipitous timing.

I miss her every single day. Her death was so different than our other six girls. With Molly, Gunni, Duchess, Sadie, and Riley, we were in control of the situation; we held them in our arms and were able to help them cross the Rainbow Bridge in our arms. With Chelsea, she was at home, with us, and she did not suffer. Those six deaths were peaceful. We miss them all terribly, but their memories are kept alive as we reminisce about them and the joy they each brought to our lives. 

With Maddy, it's different; a deep-seated sadness seeps into those walks down memory lane.

Maddy's death was a complete and utter shock. I remember the horror of the day in excruciating detail. Traumatizing is the only way I can describe it and we've been riddled with unrelenting guilt for two years.

We are slowly moving toward a place where I don't break down in tears when we talk about her. We remember all of the comical things she did, how she kept us entertained with her daily antics, and how she unabashedly and unapologetically loved her family with everything she had.

Life is not the same without her lopsided gallop, her happy tail, or her constant dispensing of affection. Ginny has certainly not been the same since losing her best friend. Loss changes us. There is a heightened awareness that time is limited and in many ways, life is fleeting. We've learned that we must boldly choose joy, and so we will continue to celebrate Maddy's life on this day and every day. I've posted this before, but it's my favorite video of her.

Don't ever take one single second with your loved ones for granted.

this precious creature

Happy Tails to you…