The Log Dog Blog: My Mom: The Dash

It's been one month since I lost my mom. I came across this poem and felt it was worth sharing:

The Dash

by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak

At the funeral of a friend

He referred to the dates on the tombstone

From the beginning...to the end

He noted that first came the date of birth

And spoke the following date with tears,

But he said what mattered most of all

Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time

That they spent alive on earth

And now only those who loved them

Know what that little line is worth

For it matters not, how much we own,

The cars...the house...the cash.

What matters is how we live and love

And how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.

Are there things you'd like to change?

For you never know how much time is left

That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough

To consider what's true and real

And always try to understand

The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger

And show appreciation more

And love the people in our lives

Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect

And more often wear a smile,

Remembering this special dash

Might only last a little while

So, when your eulogy is being read

With your life's actions to rehash...

Would you be proud of the things they say

About how you spent YOUR dash?

My mom spent her dash making people feel loved and making a difference in the lives of so many.

She was an incredible mother to B1, B2, and me.

She was a skilled nurse for 43 years, taking care of women during their pregnancies and births.

She visited all seven continents.

She valiantly battled pulmonary fibrosis for almost nine years. She just kept going, no matter how difficult every day tasks became, no matter how the disease eroded her lungs and slowly stripped pieces of her independence away.

She and I did so many awesome things together. She'd always dreamt of being an astronaut, but since that was not something women of her generation were allowed to do, we did the next best things and went to space camp for adults together and had the greatest time!

She is directly responsible for my love of all things Disney and the two of us went to Walt Disney World together many, many times. When I was little, she regularly took me to the drive-in to see Disney movies and she sang me Disney songs starting the day I was born. We went on a Disney Cruise together and made fabulous memories together, and I only wish we'd been able to go on other cruises together. I know that the next time I stand in front of a Disney castle or set foot on a Disney ship, I will feel her absence acutely.

Something we did often was take road trips to Canada to visit family, especially after she got sick and plane travel became too taxing for her...hours in the car, singing and laughing together. I will miss those long drives with her.

One of my favorite memories with her is when we went to see Ringo Starr in 2016. He had always been her favorite Beatle. While I thoroughly enjoyed the concert myself, witnessing her joy gave me a glimpse of her as a fifteen-year old girl and I loved it so much. It's sometimes hard to see our moms beyond our own experiences with them, but that night, I was able to see her in a brand new light.

She loved music and space and animals.

She loved movies and dancing and gerbera daisies.

She especially loved Star Trek. She loved quotes from the various series and movies and during our last week together, I repeatedly whispered one of her all-time favorite lines in her ear over and over:

"You have been, and always shall be, my friend."

I miss you, Mom.

You spent your dash in the most brilliant, wonderful, and admirable fashion.