Mom Update

To put it mildly, my mom has suffered through a four-week rough patch.

A timeline of events:

September 12: lots of abdominal pain and discomfort

September 13: C took her to the ER, she was admitted because a CT scan revealed an abdominal abscess, and a drain was placed

September 13-16: hospital stay

September 16: midline catheter was inserted into her left bicep (I had previously mistakenly referred to this as a picc line), followed by that very frustrating discharge incident I wrote about

September 16-27: IV medication at home, which C administered daily, but increasing discomfort and pain

September 27: a scheduled outpatient appointment with Interventional Radiology, drain was removed and replaced

October 2: extreme pain, I took her to the ER, she was admitted, CT scan showed that the abscess had grown

October 2-7: another hospital stay

October 4: yet another procedure to remove and replace the drain

October 6: serious conversation with colorectal team

October 7: discharged, new IV medication, this time a 1-hour drip every 12 hours compared with the previous one, which was a 24-hour drip once a day

October 8: quick trip to ER because the midline was not functioning correctly (apparently these midlines are notorious for clogging up in between doses when the timing is every 12 hours bc there isn’t medication flowing continuously like with the 24-drip)

October 9: my mom could barely move, slept until 2 pm when I had to work hard to wake her

October 9 was yesterday and we were fairly panicked about what to do. We called my dad bc even though he and my mom are divorced, the relationship is amicable and even though he’s an OB/GYN and not an infectious disease doctor, he helps with providing guidance whenever we have questions about my mom. He said it sounded like the onset of sepsis, so C called the infectious disease doctor and he concurred that it sounded like sepsis and told us to get her to the hospital.

I had to piggy back carry her down the stairs from her room and then Craig carried her out to car bc she was so weak.

I'm going to interrupt the medical reporting for a moment because I just have to say something.

Have you heard those stories about people falling in love all over again when they see their spouses holding and nurturing their children? Well, I can tell you that I was moved to tears and breath-catching sobs as I watched C pick up my weak, frail, very ill mother with the greatest tenderness and care and carry her to our car so we could get her to the ER. If you have read this blog before or know us in real life, I hope it is apparent just how much I love him and how grateful I am for him every single day. Witnessing that yesterday, though, while I was managing my own very complex emotions about the situation, was nothing short of amazing. He has spent these four weeks caring for her, giving her all of the pills she is prescribed, dealing with her drain, making her food, doing her IV medication (which recently meant getting up at 3 am, taking the medication out of the fridge to warm for two hours, doing the IV at 5 am, letting the drip run for an hour, and then flushing everything out at 6 am before going back to sleep for a little while before work), and reassuring her at every turn.

I am not exaggerating when I say he is an amazing human.

So back to yesterday...

B1 and S1 brought my niece and nephew from Maryland to the hospital to see my mom for literally five minutes before she was taken into the ER, while B2 and S2 drove down from New York and arrived late last night.

As soon as we got her checked in, she was taken into the ER immediately. S1 took the kids home, while C and B1 stayed in the ER waiting room. Once my mom was settled, B1 got a visitor pass and came back (we kind of gamed the system a little because only one person was technically allowed in the ER with her, but since I had been with her when they took her in, no one really took note of my presence at the check-in desk, so they let him back as the "only" visitor and then we just shared the sticker to go in and out to the waiting room).

They admitted her and only one person is allowed to stay overnight, so C drove B1 back to MD and then went home; I spent the night. B2 and S2 came to spend the day with her. B1 came in the afternoon when S2 left. C and I went this evening. They only allow two visitors at a time, so we all have to take turns and it is working about because someone will always be with her but no one person will have to shoulder the responsibility on their own. My two brothers and two SIL are pretty remarkable humans, too.

After speaking with many doctors today (surgeons, colorectal, infectious disease, pulmonary), we have two options.

Hospice or surgery.

Surgery is extremely risky bc of her lungs. We have avoided any and all surgery for the past 3+ years because of her pulmonary fibrosis. However, the alternative of no surgery is a guaranteed death sentence.

B1, B2, C, and I met at the hospital cafeteria this evening to discuss everything that went on today.

There are many factors at play with the surgery, but it is her best chance at having some semblance of a normal life. We don't know what the chances are of her surviving. We don't know what the chances are of her recovering if she does survive the surgery.

We do know that without the surgery, she will die. The sepsis and organ failure WILL happen. How long will that take? A week? Two weeks? A month? We don't know.

So the four of us discussed how each of us would "vote" as to yes or no for the surgery, acknowledging that the ultimate decision belongs to my mom.

After our talk, we all went up to her room and we had a similar discussion with her. Many tears were shed.

She is going to tell the doctors that she wants to proceed with the surgery. B2 is staying overnight with her and will be the one to see the doctors with her in the morning.

We don't know when this will happen. She still has that midline in her left bicep and today they put a picc line in on her right side. They started IV nutrition just before B1, C, and I left at 9:00 pm.

She is looking a little better than yesterday so the meds and fluids are doing something, even if it's not as much as any of us would like. Hopefully the IV nutrition helps even further, so that she is as strong as possible for the surgery.

I'll surely write more about her in the days ahead, but we all know this: she is a fighter. And she is ready to give this everything she has.

We would be so thankful for any positive thoughts, good vibes, prayers, or anything else you subscribe to being sent her way.

this was from last Tuesday,
during her previous hospital stay...
I finally got a smile out of her
and it made my day

Happy Tails to you...