Life Lately October 2022

Since I've shared just about everything throughout the month as it happened, there's really not much to say about October.

It was a month of cancelled plans. We had a trip to Toronto and a trip to Denver scheduled; obviously both were impossible given my mom's situation. We had tickets to The Office Experience in D.C. and had to forgo that outing. We had tickets to Pixar Putt in Denver and had to miss that as well. You may recall that we had tickets to Pixar Putt last October in NYC and had to cancel those plans because Ginny was sick. So we've had tickets to that twice and haven't been able to go either time.

October has become a month I associate with a lot of sadness. We lost our first gal and our final gal in October; the 11th marked one year without Ginny and the 20th marked seven years with out Chelsea. The 26th marked one year without my beloved grandma. So many sad anniversaries, coupled with the trying ordeal we just experienced with my mom, and I am very happy to bid October farewell.

Speaking of my mom, she is doing okay, but the days are long and challenging. If you've ever been a caregiver, you understand. We're figuring things out together, but it is a process, and as I suspected, the real work began when she came home. I took today off to take her to multiple doctor appointments so C could have a break because when I say he has been doing everything, I mean he has been doing EVERYTHING. I'd like to think that I don't know what I would do without him, but I actually do...I would have to resign from my job. He has been the most incredible human and it's only because of all that he does that I'm able to do what I need to do. Last week, I had 12 hours days every single day and he took care of ALL THE THINGS at home. I didn't worry once because I knew he had it under control.

The exhaustion for the three of us is no joke. It has been a stressful month on many levels, not the least of which were the daily 40+ minute drives each way to and from the hospital after working all day once I had returned to work the week following my mom's surgery. I'm so glad we are done with those! Hopefully things will get easier as my mom continues to recover and we all adjust to our new normal, and in the meantime, I will continue to count my lucky stars that my mom is getting better!

I found these ornaments
a few weeks ago...
C and me!

Happy Tails to you!

Finally Discharged!

I am so excited to report that my mom is home!

happiness!

She was taken off all antibiotics on Thursday and taken off the IV nutrition on Saturday; and she had the picc line and the midline removed today. Huge, exciting updates!

It has been an exhausting and stressful 15-night / 16-day hospital stay, filled with some very scary moments. If you include her previous hospital stay from October 2-7 and our trip to the ER on October 8, today was the twenty-third day in a row that my mom and I were together in a hospital. 23 days!

Tomorrow that streak ends...as I type this we are sitting together in the family room!

We still have a lot of work ahead of us. We'll have home health care coming to help my mom as she continues to recover and also many appointments to attend. But the fact that she is home is awesome. I went to the hospital every night last week after working all day and didn't get home until almost 11:00 pm, and some nights it was later than that. C caught a cold and didn't want to pass any germs to my mom, so I went by myself toward the end of the week and over the weekend, which added to the exhaustion because at least when we were making the long drive together, we had each other's company to keep us going! Definitely not the same to drive home late at night by myself!

However, me being run down is absolutely nothing compared to what my mom has endured, and having her home means I can rest with her as she is recuperating! She has been through the wringer and emerged victorious against all odds. Some quiet time watching movies and napping sounds pretty great to both of us!

this was from Saturday...
still very pale, but feeling better!

getting her color back and
ready to go home!

Happy Tails to you!

Quick Update

Posting info here seems to be the best way to keep everyone informed about what's going on...some people are only on Facebook, others are only on Instagram, and yet others aren't on either site and have been getting updates via text or email.

As you might imagine, keeping people in the loop has been a huge task...there have been many times over the past few weeks when I just didn't have it in me to answer questions or give updates. Then the messages piled up and I felt guilty and overwhelmed as a result. I promise I was doing my best and I truly appreciate every kind word that has been sent our way. Sharing my blog posts, however, has been easy, and I try to put as much detail in them as I can so that family and friends know what's happening.

Since I last posted on Friday night, things have been going pretty well. My mom reached a few "milestones," including sitting up in a chair and going for a short walk down the hall! The best thing for us was that she was moved from the Trauma ICU to a regular room on the surgical floor around 1:00 pm on Saturday (obviously another huge milestone), which made visiting her easier because there are fewer restrictions. All things considered, we are thrilled with her progress!

She is, understandably, in a lot of pain, but that is slowly getting better every day. She is now allowed to eat soft foods and drink whatever she likes, and we are hoping by tomorrow night, they'll have stopped the IV nutrition, as that is obviously another necessary step toward discharge.

Today is the sixteenth day that my mom and I have been at the hospital together for one reason or another. It's been a very exhausting month and I haven't gotten nearly enough sleep. I'm pretty sure I was running purely on adrenaline last week.

But my mom is feeling a little better each day; she's eating real food and sleeping more peacefully and for longer stretches at a time. We are so proud of her! We'll see what the week brings and we'll keep our fingers crossed that things continue to go well!

I love her so much

just some of the equipment my mom
was attached to in the ICU on Friday

sitting up in a chair on Saturday

taking her first walk on Saturday

feeling better on Sunday

Happy Tails to you!

Happy News

"Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear.

If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today."

- Thich Nhat Hanh -

While tempering my optimism with the knowledge that she is far from out of the woods, my mom's surgery was a huge success!

We got a call from the surgeon at about 10:00 pm last night that everything had gone, as she put it, "beautifully" and that my mom had remained stable throughout the entire surgery.

We were ecstatic and overcome with relief, but still aware that perhaps the biggest test post-surgery would be when they took her off the ventilator and removed the breathing tube. Would her lungs recover? Would she be able to breathe on her own? B1, B2, C, and I had many difficult conversations over the course of the past week, trying to anticipate every "what if" scenario and establishing my mom's wishes in the event things did not go well. So while hearing the incredible news that she had survived the surgery was awesome, we knew there were still challenges and unknowns ahead. Battling Pulmonary Fibrosis for the past eight years has taken its toll on her poor lungs.

We didn't hear anything through the night, which we took as a great sign. They moved her from the post-op recovery area to a room in the Trauma Intensive Care Unit overnight and I came to her room at 9:00 am this morning. She was intubated, of course, but awake; they told me they'd stopped the sedation because they wanted to try and remove the tube and get her off the ventilator. We had not anticipated they would be trying this less than 12 hours after surgery!

The ICU doctor came in and explained everything and when I asked if I should step out of the room, he told me I could stay while they did it. We went over her wishes once again, and although I tried my best to keep it together, I cried and she was shaking and looked so afraid. I stepped out of the way and a team of people surrounded her bed and talked her through everything as it was happening. The terror of waiting for her to take a breath on her own is something I don't care to ever experience again.

And then she inhaled. All on her own.

They put her usual oxygen on and then she was breathing. In and out. And it was one of the happiest moments of my life.

She is in a tremendous amount of pain. She has a huge incision in her abdomen and will have a colostomy bag for the rest of her life because they removed most of her colon. That healing will take a long time.

But oh my word, does she look good as far as I'm concerned!

She is so amazingly strong. As I said the other day, she is a fighter. She's 5 feet tall and 90 pounds and I do not know another person as tough as she is.

I've spent all day with her and now I'm getting ready to head home for the night. She's in excellent hands and needs to rest so her body can heal. I haven't been home since early Wednesday morning, so I'm hoping to get some sleep tonight as well, since there's a lot of work to do in the coming weeks to help her recuperate. We are all pretty exhausted from this long ordeal.

When we were told the other day that she only had two choices - hospice or surgery. It was a matter of choosing between two awful things. The reason she - and we - chose surgery is because it offered hope. 

There was no guarantee things would go as well as they did; I could just as easily be writing the saddest post of my life today. But that hope sustained us all week, through those difficult but necessary conversations, through the moments of doubt as to whether surgery was the correct choice, and through the uncertainly of what was ahead. Hope.

She is a big Star Wars fan, and the last words I spoke to her as they wheeled her away from me into the OR last night were, "May the Force Be With You."

It was.

family is everything

Happy Tails to you!

Surgery Underway

This is just a quick post to thank people for all of the support that's been sent our way this week.

The waiting has not been easy. An ongoing challenge of trying to get my mom in the best possible shape for surgery while managing her pain and her infection.

Because this has the potential to be an end-of-life situation, B1 and S1 were granted special permission to bring my niece and nephew to see her for 30 minutes. Because of some complications, my mom was in isolation, meaning we all had to wear masks, gowns, and gloves when we were in the room. The same held true for the little humans, and seeing them in all of the protective gear was so cute. Their presence definitely made a huge difference for my mom. My five-year old niece said that she learned in one of her books about "bacteria that is resistant to antibiotics and I think that's what Grandma has." My mom's nurse was both entertained and very impressed by this comment.

Speaking of nurses, they have been absolutely wonderful this week, providing the best, most attentive care. Not once did they say anything about the fact that most of the time, there were four of us visiting my mom, when the rule was only two visitors. I think they recognized our worry and the severity of the situation and kindly turned a blind eye.

We'd been told the surgery was tentatively scheduled for today, but even at 5:00 pm, we didn't know when it was going to happen. Then without warning, the transport team came to get her at 7:05 pm - B1 and B2 were with her, while C and I were downstairs in the cafeteria. B2 called and we rushed back to her room. When they were ready to take her, we had a chance to say goodbye and we all held her hand, then she and I made the trip down to the OR (one family member was allowed to accompany her to answer questions and speak with the anesthesiologist and surgeon before the procedure). They wheeled her away from me at 8:20 pm and now B1, B2, C, and I are together in the surgery center.

So now we wait. We love her more than words could ever say and being in this waiting room together, sharing happy memories and stories about her is helping us stay calm as best as we can.

I'm hoping the next time I write, I will have amazing news to share.

One incredible sign was that the nurse in the OR who handled the pre-op stuff was named Reyna. My grandma's name was Reina. My mom and I took this as a good omen that my grandma is with her and watching over her.

Please keep sending all of those good vibes her way.

last night she cheered on the Leafs
by wearing C's jersey
during the season opener

all together

in the elevator going down
to the OR

right before she went into surgery

Happy Tails to you...

Mom Update

To put it mildly, my mom has suffered through a four-week rough patch.

A timeline of events:

September 12: lots of abdominal pain and discomfort

September 13: C took her to the ER, she was admitted because a CT scan revealed an abdominal abscess, and a drain was placed

September 13-16: hospital stay

September 16: midline catheter was inserted into her left bicep (I had previously mistakenly referred to this as a picc line), followed by that very frustrating discharge incident I wrote about

September 16-27: IV medication at home, which C administered daily, but increasing discomfort and pain

September 27: a scheduled outpatient appointment with Interventional Radiology, drain was removed and replaced

October 2: extreme pain, I took her to the ER, she was admitted, CT scan showed that the abscess had grown

October 2-7: another hospital stay

October 4: yet another procedure to remove and replace the drain

October 6: serious conversation with colorectal team

October 7: discharged, new IV medication, this time a 1-hour drip every 12 hours compared with the previous one, which was a 24-hour drip once a day

October 8: quick trip to ER because the midline was not functioning correctly (apparently these midlines are notorious for clogging up in between doses when the timing is every 12 hours bc there isn’t medication flowing continuously like with the 24-drip)

October 9: my mom could barely move, slept until 2 pm when I had to work hard to wake her

October 9 was yesterday and we were fairly panicked about what to do. We called my dad bc even though he and my mom are divorced, the relationship is amicable and even though he’s an OB/GYN and not an infectious disease doctor, he helps with providing guidance whenever we have questions about my mom. He said it sounded like the onset of sepsis, so C called the infectious disease doctor and he concurred that it sounded like sepsis and told us to get her to the hospital.

I had to piggy back carry her down the stairs from her room and then Craig carried her out to car bc she was so weak.

I'm going to interrupt the medical reporting for a moment because I just have to say something.

Have you heard those stories about people falling in love all over again when they see their spouses holding and nurturing their children? Well, I can tell you that I was moved to tears and breath-catching sobs as I watched C pick up my weak, frail, very ill mother with the greatest tenderness and care and carry her to our car so we could get her to the ER. If you have read this blog before or know us in real life, I hope it is apparent just how much I love him and how grateful I am for him every single day. Witnessing that yesterday, though, while I was managing my own very complex emotions about the situation, was nothing short of amazing. He has spent these four weeks caring for her, giving her all of the pills she is prescribed, dealing with her drain, making her food, doing her IV medication (which recently meant getting up at 3 am, taking the medication out of the fridge to warm for two hours, doing the IV at 5 am, letting the drip run for an hour, and then flushing everything out at 6 am before going back to sleep for a little while before work), and reassuring her at every turn.

I am not exaggerating when I say he is an amazing human.

So back to yesterday...

B1 and S1 brought my niece and nephew from Maryland to the hospital to see my mom for literally five minutes before she was taken into the ER, while B2 and S2 drove down from New York and arrived late last night.

As soon as we got her checked in, she was taken into the ER immediately. S1 took the kids home, while C and B1 stayed in the ER waiting room. Once my mom was settled, B1 got a visitor pass and came back (we kind of gamed the system a little because only one person was technically allowed in the ER with her, but since I had been with her when they took her in, no one really took note of my presence at the check-in desk, so they let him back as the "only" visitor and then we just shared the sticker to go in and out to the waiting room).

They admitted her and only one person is allowed to stay overnight, so C drove B1 back to MD and then went home; I spent the night. B2 and S2 came to spend the day with her. B1 came in the afternoon when S2 left. C and I went this evening. They only allow two visitors at a time, so we all have to take turns and it is working about because someone will always be with her but no one person will have to shoulder the responsibility on their own. My two brothers and two SIL are pretty remarkable humans, too.

After speaking with many doctors today (surgeons, colorectal, infectious disease, pulmonary), we have two options.

Hospice or surgery.

Surgery is extremely risky bc of her lungs. We have avoided any and all surgery for the past 3+ years because of her pulmonary fibrosis. However, the alternative of no surgery is a guaranteed death sentence.

B1, B2, C, and I met at the hospital cafeteria this evening to discuss everything that went on today.

There are many factors at play with the surgery, but it is her best chance at having some semblance of a normal life. We don't know what the chances are of her surviving. We don't know what the chances are of her recovering if she does survive the surgery.

We do know that without the surgery, she will die. The sepsis and organ failure WILL happen. How long will that take? A week? Two weeks? A month? We don't know.

So the four of us discussed how each of us would "vote" as to yes or no for the surgery, acknowledging that the ultimate decision belongs to my mom.

After our talk, we all went up to her room and we had a similar discussion with her. Many tears were shed.

She is going to tell the doctors that she wants to proceed with the surgery. B2 is staying overnight with her and will be the one to see the doctors with her in the morning.

We don't know when this will happen. She still has that midline in her left bicep and today they put a picc line in on her right side. They started IV nutrition just before B1, C, and I left at 9:00 pm.

She is looking a little better than yesterday so the meds and fluids are doing something, even if it's not as much as any of us would like. Hopefully the IV nutrition helps even further, so that she is as strong as possible for the surgery.

I'll surely write more about her in the days ahead, but we all know this: she is a fighter. And she is ready to give this everything she has.

We would be so thankful for any positive thoughts, good vibes, prayers, or anything else you subscribe to being sent her way.

this was from last Tuesday,
during her previous hospital stay...
I finally got a smile out of her
and it made my day

Happy Tails to you...

Epcot Love

Today is the 40th anniversary of Epcot! It's C's favorite park, so we spend a lot of time at Epcot when we visit WDW, and we have what feels like a zillion happy memories from there!

I first visited the park in March 1983 when my family went to WDW for spring break, and I've been in love with it since. That trip marked the first time I rode Journey Into Imagination, as it had just opened a few weeks earlier on March 5, 1983. 

For some reason, it's now cool to be a fan of Figment, but I remember how very uncool it was for a long time - which did nothing to dim my love for him. I wrote my fifth grade speech about Epcot, with the entire opening of the speech focused on Figment, and I wore a pink Epcot hat to school every day of fifth grade because I was obsessed. Never cared for a moment whether or not that made me cool!

You might recall that when we went to Epcot back in January, I wanted to buy a Figment popcorn bucket, but they were sold out, leaving me both annoyed and disappointed. 

Imagine my surprise when I opened my birthday gift in May to find a Figment popcorn bucket from one of my dearest friends! She had found it online for me (and enlisted the help of her son, who is one of my former students to do so)! Months later, I still can't believe she did that for me; she said she read in my blog how much I wanted one and then made it happen. Truly one of my favorite birthday gifts I've ever received!

 A lot of things have changed in 40 years, but my love for Figment hasn't!

I still have the hat, all these years later!
You can see how old and well-loved it is!

drank our coffee today out of
our vintage Epcot mugs
(and yes, I planned my nail
polish colors to match!)

my favorite Minnie of all-time...
from Epcot's opening day

when "The Rainbow Connection"

was played with a light display on Spaceship Earth:

Happy Tails to you!