Today is a very sad day for our family. Devastating is probably more accurate.
Our sweet Chelsea passed away this morning at about 5 am.
We were woken up around 1:15 am by her little cries. We weren't sure if something was wrong or she
was disoriented or if she'd just been having a bad dream. We noticed Ginny was nuzzling her and
watching her closely, so we feared the worst.
However, she had a drink of water for us, and was able to stand on her
own, so we chalked it up to the typical aches and pains that were unfortunately
part of her advanced age. We got a
fluffy blanket, bundled her up between us, and Ginny snuggled beside her. We soothed her back to sleep and thought everything
was fine.
At about 4:55 am, we were woken again by her cries, but they
were different this time – desperate almost.
We turned on the light and it was clear she was having a seizure. I put my hand on her chest and less than a
minute later, I felt the last beat of her heart.
Then she was gone.
I was 25 when I brought this dog home. She's been a fixture in my life for so long
that almost every memory of any significance includes her.
Yes, we've adopted six dogs in recent years. And each of them holds a very special place
in my heart that belongs solely to them and I love and cherish every moment
I've been fortunate enough to have with each of them.
But Chelsea was different because she was our first
dog. Our best girl. She twice moved with us to new states where
we knew no one. But it didn't matter
because the three of us had each other.
She spent thousands of hours of her life sleeping beside me as I did
homework, wrote lesson plans, graded papers, studied for exams, and worked late
into the night. And she was happy to
just BE with me.
She greeted C each day when he returned from work with such
joy that it often brought tears to my eyes.
This happened as recently as yesterday; her puppy-like exuberance upon
his entrance at dinner time was the epitome of unabashed love and devotion. She worshipped him like no other.
At this moment, I don't know what life will look like without
Chelsea in it. We have three very sad
girls right now who don't know where their sister and leader is and although
she weighed only 6.5 pounds, her presence was that of a dog twenty times her
size and there is both a figurative and literal emptiness that is palpable in
our house today.
Here she is yesterday – watching the goings-on in the
neighborhood from the front door beside Maddy, with Ginny and Sadie (not
pictured) roaming around nearby. I'm so
glad I captured a photo of such an ordinary and unremarkable moment because
those are usually the ones that end up meaning the most.
We will try to tell ourselves that she lived a long and
happy life and that we were lucky to have had her for as long as we did. Both of these are accurate statements. And she was home, with us when it happened,
and she didn't really suffer. There was
no prolonged deterioration due to illness, no regimen of medication that kept
her alive. Overall, she was in good
health and time just caught up with her tiny body. Also true.
However, these thoughts fail to ease our heartache.
We know it will get easier; we have had to say goodbye to
three of our little gals, in addition to family dogs, and every single time I have felt as though my heart would never recover. Somehow, though, the sadness was replaced with happy
and humorous memories that continue to make us laugh.
Occasionally, I find myself missing these dogs so fiercely that I cannot help
but cry, but generally speaking, the memories of the good times dominate my thoughts.
I suspect this time will be different, though. My heart feels shattered right now, and I
think it will take a long time for it to be pieced back together again.
She was ours for 16 years, 7 months, and 23 days. Seeing that timespan written out, it might not
seem like very much. But to us, it was
EVERYTHING. Chelsea was everything.
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