The Log Dog Blog: My Grandma

Her name, Reina, meant "queen," and she was mine.

I completely and utterly revered her and I know how lucky I am to have had her in my life for 48 years.

I could write about her in a big picture way – but I don't want this to read like an obituary. I want to capture what she meant to me. How special she was. How her presence influenced my life in such a way that each and every day, I strive to be as kind and loving and forgiving as she was.

She was the second person to ever hold me and on the day I was born, she gave me a Winnie the Pooh bear. During my entire childhood, she called me "Pooh Bear" – even into my teen years. When my friends would call me when I was at her house, she would call out, "Pooh Bear, the phone's for you!" and I would be equal parts mortified and delighted. That stuffed animal never left my side when I was a child – I talked to it, all the while believing it could understand me; I bathed it; I carried it everywhere. All these years later, I knew that if my house ever caught fire and C and our dogs were safe, there would lonely be one possession I'd ever run back in for and it was my Pooh Bear.

I was her first grandchild (and I was her only granddaughter for 36 years before my cousin was born) and she was the grandma every child dreams of having. Growing up, she took care of me when my mom had to work overnight shifts at the hospital and I never lived more than 25 minutes from her for the first 22 years of my life (and we lived on the same street for a long stretch of that). What an incredible gift.

She instilled in me a love of animals and a love of all things British (she had such a fondness for the royal family). There are two scents that instantly make me think of her – McIntosh apples and lilacs – and those are two of my most favorite things to smell in the entire world. When we were having some landscaping done at our house, I asked for a lilac bush to be planted and when it blooms, I love to inhale its scent and think of my grandma.

I have two very distinct memories of her from the day C and I got married. The first is when she danced with danced with Eeyore in the Yacht Club Gazebo as the string quartet played (we had Pooh Bear, Tgger, Eeyore, Mickey, and Minnie with us that day) and it was the most precious thing ever. The second is when she hugged me and said, "You're going to have a very happy life! He's such a nice boy!" (C and I had been together for 6 years at that point and my grandma really loved him and he absolutely adored her.) Her approval was everything to me!

I've written about her on several occasions (including a post back in 2014 when I almost wrote the exact same thing about my Pooh Bear) and shared many pics of her on IG over the years. She was just the absolute best grandma ever.

She encouraged my love of music and it was the piano at her house where I first plinked and plunked the keys for hours on end. She attended my many French horn concerts - even in the early days when they were barely more than me making honking noises on a new instrument - and she always told me it sounded wonderful (when I knew good and well that it didn't!). She was always, always, always in my corner and knowing I had someone who loved me unconditionally gave me an invisible suit of armor that carried me through some of the more challenging days in my life.

I could write volumes about her, but there are three precious memories that I will end with.

The first is when she literally saved my life. I was about four years old and swimming in a lake and I almost drowned. I can still picture looking up at the surface of the water from below and seeing my grandma's arm reach into the water to pull me out. It was one of the scariest experiences of my life that in reality probably lasted ten seconds but felt to me like an eternity. She wrapped me in a towel and held me until I wasn't scared anymore and the memory of that event will stay with me forever.

The second is from May 2019 when my mom and I went up to Canada for Mother's Day to see my grandma. I stayed in the same room as the two of them, and one night, my grandma woke up around 1:00 am and asked me if I would help her to the kitchen for a bowl of cereal. I did, and we sat together at the kitchen table, eating cheerios late at night, just the two of us in a quiet house, and I thought of the million times when she fed me and took care of me. What an honor to return some of her kindness. One of those moments in my life I will never forget.

The third is from a few days before my grandma passed away. My aunt, who took the most amazing care of her for the final four years of my grandma's life, had asked if I wanted to facetime with them. It was October 21, and I went to school early so I would be able to facetime from my office before an early meeting I had. My grandma was very weak and kept drifting off, but I spoke to her and my aunt kindly held up the ipad so she could see me. It didn't matter to me whether or not she responded; I just wanted to see her and have her hear my voice, but at one point, she looked right at me and raised her hand to wave. And then she said my name. And that is one of the most meaningful moments of my life...all these years later, we were still connected.

I loved my grandma beyond words and this post doesn't even come close to capturing my feelings. I've been working on it for over a week and I have still fallen short. She was an incredible person, wife, mom, and grandma, in addition to the many roles she played in her lifetime.

I will miss her terribly.

“A grandma is warm hugs and sweet memories.

She remembers all of your accomplishments

and forgets all of your mistakes.”

~ Barbara Cage ~