Carmen

This will be a short post, but I feel it's important for me to write about my mom's dog, who we just lost at the beginning of July.

My mom adopted her from Dachshund Rescue of North America in December 2005.  She was my mom's fourth dog, and her name was Carmen.

Carmen was a Doxador – part Dachshund, part Labrador – which made her a little taller and bigger than all of our Dachshunds because she had longer legs than Dachshunds normally do.  She also had a little bit of a lab look to her face – not as pointy of a snout as most Dachshunds – as well as her ears.

When my mom adopted her, she was told that Carmen was probably about four-years old.  While that's pretty young, it's old enough to have suffered and survived terrible abuse at the hands of some despicable excuse for a human being.

I went with my mom to pick Carmen up, and when the rescue folks took her out of the van, she immediately ran and hid under it out of sheer terror.  We knew immediately that we would have to be exceptionally patient with this dog as she learned to trust us.

My mom had a ten-year old Dachshund at the time, Muggsi, and while she accepted Carmen and they grew to be best friends, she was a little wary and kept her distance.  The same was true of our Chelsea, so I'm pretty sure they could both sense that Carmen was dealing with some demons.

Over the years, she slowly came around, although until about the last six months of her life, she never liked being held or cuddled.  She loved being near her people, and would happily sleep beside us on the couch, but she didn't want to be in our arms until almost the end.

It was clear from the start that she was afraid of men, but C has a very special way with dogs and she grew to love him very much.  Knowing how far she had come, I never grew tired of watching her gallop toward him excitedly when he called out her name.

When we adopted Molly, Gunni, and Maddy in September 2009, my mom adopted Ginny, as Muggsi had recently passed away and my mom wanted Carmen to have a friend so she wouldn't be lonely.  Seeing as Ginny became our dog about two weeks later, you might guess that things on that front did not go as planned.  Carmen did not want another dog in her house!  It all turned out for the best, though…Maddy and Ginny had each other – two young dogs in a herd of old dogs – and Carmen had my mom all to herself.  Carmen was a fear biter, so things really do have a working out because she did quite well as an only dog.  She loved visiting all of our dogs over the years, but was always happy to go home to her peaceful, quiet house where she could be the only dog.

Over the years, they were many incidents of her biting the other dogs.  She attacked Chelsea four times – she tended to lash out whenever she felt threatened – twice biting her ears, once her snout, and the fourth time her eye.  Thankfully Chelsea was tough, because she healed every time and harbored no resentment toward Carmen.  Again, somehow dogs understand things that elude humans.  One time when we were watching Carmen and my mom was in Antarctica, Gunni unknowingly startled Carmen from behind, and Carmen grabbed her by the throat and I had to pull her off Gunni.  Not going to lie – that was terrifying and required a late night emergency vet visit to stitch up Gunni's neck.  Thinking about it now is still quite disturbing.  But Carmen and Gunni proved to be friends until Gunni passed away in 2013.  Forgiveness without reservation on Gunni's part.  Humans would do well do be more like dogs.

Over the years, Carmen mellowed and slowed down, and we grew less and less worried that she would snap or bite the others.  If she was getting irritated, she'd let out a low growl, and we knew to give her the space she needed.  It turns out that love really can heal just about everything, and my mom's devotion to Carmen was beyond admirable.  She took that scared, angry dog, and loved her with everything she had and as a result, transformed Carmen into a wonderful friend for us all.

I often referred to her as my "four-legged sister" and an "honorary member of my herd" and she truly was both of those things.  While she wasn't mine, in the words of Mrs. Weasley in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, she was "as good as."

I was with my mom on July 5 when our beloved Dr. T. helped Carmen cross the Rainbow Bridge.  She peacefully drifted off to sleep in my mom's arms.  Her body had grown old and weak and her quality of life was not what we all wanted for her.

I miss her very much.  Ginny, in particular, is taking the loss hard.  The first few times my mom came over after she'd lost Carmen, Ginny would run to the door and look for her.  I think she has come to accept what has happened because now she is just so sad.  Anyone whoever dares utter the words "just a dog" has clearly never been loved by one because they are amazingly intuitive and sensitive.

My mom has lost her little best friend, but I have a sneaking suspicion when she is ready, she will open her heart to another lonely, unwanted, homeless dog in need of love and work her magic once again.

Happy Tails to you…