And Then There Were Three...

Two weeks shy of her 18th birthday, Duchess has joined Molly & Gunni at the Rainbow Bridge.

Duchess enjoying an afternoon nap

It has been a rough few weeks, with Duchess's health deteriorating a little each day.  She had trouble sleeping, resulting in C and I taking turns staying up with her each night.  The past two days have been particularly difficult for her, and last night, she began experiencing such labored breathing that I considered taking her to the vet in the middle of the night.  I spent the night with her on the couch, holding her and trying to soothe her through her restlessness and discomfort.  When C left for work this morning, Duchess was finally sleeping peacefully, but we wanted make a vet appointment just to get her checked out.

I called the vet to see if our beloved Dr. T. was working and was told she had an opening at 10 am.  Between the time of my phone call and the time of the appointment, Duchess had a seizure in the kitchen.  Luckily I was standing right near her when she fell over and started convulsing, but I was terrified.  I scooped her up in my arms and held her until it stopped - which felt like hours but in reality was probably more like two straight minutes.

I've written before about how she does not like the car, so I lined a laundry basket with some soft blankets, placed it on the passenger seat, and put her in it to keep her safe during the drive.  Both C and my mom offered to meet me at the vet, but I told them to wait until Dr. T. saw Duchess so we knew what we were dealing with.

As I drove, I already suspected how everything was going to play out.  I just had a feeling that this was going to be our last car ride together.  She was so good in the car - she didn't try to leap out of the basket or squirm around in any way - but it was obvious that she was in great distress.  It was so difficult for her to breathe that I kept one hand on her for most of the drive just so I knew she was still with me.

When we arrived, we were put in a room immediately and Dr. T. came right in.  She took one look at Duchess and said, "It's time."  I was crying at this point, and she came around to my side of the exam table and told me she was going to take Duchess in the back to put a catheter in and get her some oxygen.  She was gone only a minute or two - during which time I called C and told him what has happening - before she returned to the room alone to console me.  She said such lovely things about what a good mom I was and how lucky my dogs were to be so loved, and although it is likely she says that to everyone when they must make that heart-wrenching decision, I needed to hear those things at that moment.  She hugged me and told me she had a strong suspicion that Duchess had developed a mass that was restricting her airway and making it almost impossible to breathe and that we had to let her go so she could be free from the pain.  I don't know if I could have done it alone if Dr. T. had not been working today and we ended up seeing another vet.  I am so very grateful that she has been the one to be with us when we've said goodbye to our three furry babies.

She went to get Duchess and when she returned, we talked about how tough Duchess was (please recall the spider bite she suffered last year) and how when we adopted her in 2011 at the ripe old age of 15, we never dreamed we would get to love her for as long as we have.

I sat in a chair and held Duchess in my arms and Dr. T. knelt on the floor.  We hugged her and kissed her and told her what an amazing dog she was and how we all loved her so very much.  The process was very peaceful for her and once the medication had taken effect, Dr. T. leaned over Duchess and me and put her arms around us and cried.  She then left me alone with Duchess for a few minutes, and I sobbed and kissed her soft fur and told her we would be together again someday.

While we are heartbroken - and there is no other word for it - we are also incredibly thankful to have loved and been loved by this little dog.  There is something so special about adopting a senior dog - I truly believe they know you've given them a second chance at life and spend every moment you have together demonstrating how grateful they are.

What an honor to have been her family.

Here are some recent photos of her:

Ginny and Duchess

Chelsea and Duchess's Tail   :-)

Maddy and Duchess

C and Duchess  <3

Duchess sleeping with her legs hanging out of the bed  :-)

Duchess sleeping with her arm hanging out of the bed  :-)

As I type this, her three friends are at my feet and they know something is amiss, and as with the times I came home without Molly or Gunni, the house feels remarkably empty without Duchess in it.

Happy Tails to you...