Thanksgiving 2018

FaceTiming with Ginny from Nevada

Advertisements would have you believe Thanksgiving is a wonderful time of year where everyone is happy and everything is perfect. Real life doesn't work that way, though. Thanksgiving is a tough day for a lot of people, and if I'm being honest, I am one of those people this year.

I thought long and hard about writing this post because I know full well how fortunate I am and how much I have to be thankful for. But if you have experienced loss in your life, I know you will agree that there is no set timeline for the healing of a broken heart. A certain date on the calendar or the festive decorations everywhere cannot and do not speed up the grieving process.

C and I lost our beloved Maddy and we have not been the same since. We have grieved together, but we have also each grieved on our own, in our own way. Her death was such a shock and while we had lost five other dogs before her, including Chelsea after almost 17 years, we were able to make peace with those deaths. This has been a very different and devastating experience. In addition to the thoroughly unexpected nature of Maddy's death, she had such a huge and comical personality that her absence is felt acutely in our house every single day. If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook, you've seen the photos and videos of her antics – and hopefully some of them brought a smile to your face – and there is a  daily reminder that she is gone simply because we don't have a loving, chubby little cow dog with an ever-wagging tail entertaining us at every turn.

So we take each day as it comes – some are easier than others, filled with remembering the funny things she did and how sweet she was; others are more difficult when we relive that horrible day and are riddled to the core with guilt that we were not with her.

I posted this picture of her last Thanksgiving, mostly in jest because she loved a good meal more than just about anyone. I'm sad that she is not here with us today to enjoy all of the delicious food.

However, there is still so much to be grateful for and I have been doing my best to focus on that today. Unfortunately, I am not home for Thanksgiving, but I am with family. I've had lots of time with my baby niece this week, so that has been amazing and I am very thankful for the time we've had together.

The most important women in my life have had some health scares this year and yet they are all doing well now, and generally speaking, everyone I love is healthy and happy. There's really not too much more one can hope for in life and for that I am also very thankful.

Most of all, though, I am grateful for these two.

One is the greatest partner with whom to travel through this crazy life. The other knows how to comfort me without saying a word. I'm so incredibly lucky to call both of them mine and I can't wait until I'm home again with them in a few days.

I guess what it really comes down to is that this Thanksgiving is bittersweet for me. I'm definitely grateful for all that I have but also sad at the same time because my heart is still hurting. I know it will get easier and that this sweet girl will be by our side because it's been really hard on her, too. She is just starting to emerge from under her own dark cloud and I know we will, too.

Happy Tails to you…