Life Lately March 2021

There's really not too much to write about March that I haven't already posted this month!

We've spent the last three weeks taking care of my mom and I'm happy to report that her IV was removed yesterday, which is such great news for her! She also got her first vaccine shot this week, and I am at a loss for words to describe how happy that makes me!

The only other noteworthy event was that I attended a state literacy conference and the sessions were really outstanding. One of the presenters said something that really struck me (and I'm paraphrasing here): the person who enters a book should be different than the person who exits that book. That is really a profound thought! Books change you and the way he articulated that idea really resonated with me because I am always a different person when I finish reading a book – whether that's because I've learned something or because my eyes were opened to a new way of thinking about something.

I will have more to share over the next week, but until then, here are pics from this month!

more blood work for Ginny

this is how she slept
during the literacy conference...
tail and leg hanging off her bed

and also like this...
with her ear in her water bowl

the cutest messages from students
at the end of our reading group meeting

this neon blue Mickey balloon
was my Valentine's Day gift from C
and we finally hung it up!

this UP art is so fabulous...
I love supporting small shops because
they offer such unique handmade items!

it's wooden and hand painted!

Happy Tails to you!

Missing Riley

One year ago today, we said goodbye to our Riley. The pain we experienced was eased only by the fact that C, Ginny, and I were all home together due to the pandemic so we could grieve together. Everything about losing her was so unfair…she was such a wonderful little dog and we were forced to part ways so soon after finding each other.

I'm under no delusion that having dogs is the same as having kids. But for us, our dogs ARE our kids. Period. They are everything to us. And each time we've lost one, it's been completely and utterly devastating and I've wondered if I would ever feel whole again. With Maddy in particular, given the traumatic nature of her death, the black cloud took a long time to dissipate and the depths of my sorrow threatened to swallow me up on a daily basis for well over a year.

I honestly didn't think I'd ever be able to adopt another dog after Maddy. And then I saw Riley's sweet little face and I knew we could give her an amazing life. Her kind disposition brought such light into our lives and the inexplicable loyalty she displayed was incredible. All this time later, knowing we'd only have 144 days together, I would one million percent adopt her again in a heartbeat. The memories we created with her will forever live in my heart.

Grief is both a universal human experience and a uniquely personal journey…one minute I'm fine, and the next minute, a song or picture or comment will leave me sobbing. I never know exactly what will trigger the tears, but I always welcome them. They are a physical manifestation of the fact that I loved – and continue to love – my girls deeply and that their absence will always be part of who I am as a person.

love this

A few of my favorite pics with Riley:

'til the end of the line

Happy Tails to you…

Love is a Verb

Think about the messages in ads leading up to holidays because companies sell a false reality of love. We're led to believe that flowers, chocolates, jewelry, and other tangible goods are what love is all about. While those things are delightful, real love has nothing to do with any of them.

In so many ways, love is a noun. It's something you feel and experience, give and receive. It's an intangible magic that takes many forms.

However, there is no question that love is also a verb. Action. What you do.

And this photo is a perfect example of what love looks like in action.

Since my mom was discharged from the hospital last week, C has been handling all of her intravenous meds with her and this is what that looks like. It's not glamorous and no one is wearing cute matching outfits or posing in a beautiful setting. But it's real life. This is our current reality.

To him, it's no big deal. It needs to be done and he's working from home, so he has taken the reins.

To me, it is a huge deal. Indescribably huge. I don't know what I did to ever deserve this human, but watching him take care of my mom is amazing.

It would be so easy to overlook how monumental this actually is, because it's nothing out of the ordinary for him. But I'm glad this moment stopped me in my tracks, and all I can say is that I am beyond grateful to be married to someone who quietly, and without fanfare, demonstrates every single day what real love is!

Happy Tails to you!

Well, it's March 13th again!

Exactly one year ago today, on March 13, 2020, I left school loaded down with my work laptop that I never take home, a full set of reading assessment materials, and just about anything I thought I might need for a few weeks. We'd been told school would be closed from March 14 until April 13. It was a weird feeling to leave school on a Friday in March with no plans to return for a month and I certainly had no idea that I wouldn't actually set foot back in the building until June – and that would only be to pack up for the summer. Now it's March again and it still feels like we're living in the Upside Down!

This was the second time I'd experienced a major event that disrupted the school year. Back in February 2010, an enormous snowfall caused significant structural damage to the intermediate school where I was teaching and we weren't allowed to return to that building for the remainder of that year, either. We were given a week to prepare as we were housed elsewhere for the remainder of the school year – fifth grade at one site and sixth grade at another. It was absolutely bare bones and I honestly loved it. Don't get me wrong – it was challenging and exhausting every single day. But the circumstances required us to forgo all the usual nonsense – no unnecessary meetings, no before or after school events due to transportation constraints, no time wasting. It was focused, meaningful instruction. The epitome of "cut the fluff and teach the stuff." If you know me, I'm sure you can understand why I loved it! Even though the physical location was different, we were with our students, which is all that really mattered, and we had a comforting routine to our days. Dealing with such an unusual situation made for a very tight-knit class and eleven years later, I still love those kids who went through the craziness by my side!

This has not been the case during this pandemic. It has often felt like directions and plans were changing every hour on the hour. We'd be told one thing in the morning only to be told something completely different later that same day. It has been a constant state of uncertainty for all – staff, students, and families.

At the best of times, teaching is not for the faint of heart. What I've seen my colleagues accomplish over the past 365 days is nothing short of miraculous. A year ago, I was so encouraged because there was such public support for teachers. It seemed like people finally appreciated how teachers give everything they have to their students.

Foolish of me to believe that sentiment would last. For the past six months, teachers have been subject to such hateful and ignorant accusations and comments that it makes me physically ill. But despite being vilified in the court of public opinion, teachers have been showing up for their students day in and day out this entire school year, working harder than ever before. I witness magic with my own eyes on a daily basis and I am so proud to know the amazing teachers I get to call my colleagues and friends!

Who knows what next school year will look like, but frankly, in my opinion, it doesn't really matter. This past year, dealing with a global pandemic that disrupted two school years, has proven that teachers are clever, resilient, and devoted to their students and their craft regardless of any obstacles they face. What does concern me is the lasting effect this will have on teachers because all of this dedication comes with a price tag. Teachers' well-being has been received a lot of lip service – "teachers, be sure to practice self-care!" – but the actual toll this situation is taking? Not really being discussed.

Thank goodness teachers have other teachers; I don't think I would have made it without my teacher friends because they're the only ones who really get it. I felt the same way 11 years ago during the upheaval that occurred because my fellow teachers kept me sane, made me laugh, and commiserated when things were absurd!

perfectly stated

It's really unbelievable to think it's been a whole year. I'm looking forward to things slowly getting back to "normal" because having spent the first half of this school year in an almost-empty building with only a tiny handful of students, I much prefer a building filled with busy, noisy, joyful kids!

Happy Tails to you!

Another Hospital Stay

On Thursday afternoon, I got a text from S1 informing us that my mom was going to the hospital. B1 took her to the ER, and we were relieved to learn that the restrictions for visitors had been loosened somewhat and he was able to stay with her. It's always better to have a second pair of eyes and ears to take in everything that is happening.

Obviously I was panicking because I worry about my mom all the time and hearing that she was in so much pain that it necessitated a trip to the ER was super scary for me. I actually called my mom as soon as I saw the text from S1, and she could barely speak, so that really did me in.

Unfortunately, patients are only allowed one visitor. Per day. No swapping allowed. My brother and I texted back and forth about whether I should go to the hospital at all, since he was already with her. One thing in our favor was that I've been vaccinated and B1 hasn't received the vaccine yet, so he played that angle and they agreed to let me be my mom's visitor so my brother could leave. We switched places around 6:15 pm and I am so grateful the nurses allowed us to do that!

They did all sorts of tests – blood work, EKG, CT scan – and determined that my mom had an abscess in her abdomen and would need to be admitted. Since she was being admitted, I had to leave, because the one daily visitor is only allowed to visit between 1:00 and 5:00 pm, so when they finally had a room ready for her, right around 10:00 pm, I went home and worried about her all night.

I went to school in the morning, but took the afternoon off so I could go and be with her during visiting hours. When I arrived at the hospital, her room was empty because they had taken her to surgery, so I ended up sitting by myself for most of the afternoon. When they finally brought her back, I was so happy to see her, and I was highly entertained by the things she said while she was recovering from the effects of the anesthesia. Due to the fact that she was out of the room for most of the afternoon, the nurses let me stay past 5:00 pm, which was very kind of them.

I spent Saturday afternoon with her, and by then there was some talk of her being discharged in a day or two, which was very encouraging. We decided that she should come back to our house because C is working from home, so she wouldn't be alone during the day, so we went to her apartment on Sunday morning to pick up some of her things. I visited her again on Sunday, and by the time I got there, they'd inserted a midline IV in her arm so that she'd be able to continue the intravenous antibiotics at home.

I went to school today and both C and I waited to hear when she was being discharged – if it had been early in the day, C would have gone, and if it had been later in the afternoon, I could have gone straight from school. However, it worked out that she wouldn't be discharged until about 5:00 pm, so we both went to get her and we took Ginny with us. A home health nurse will be coming to our house tomorrow to get the IV meds underway.

Speaking of Ginny, she was very excited when my mom got in the car, and she is very glad to have her grandmother back home for a few weeks!

It has been a very exhausting few days, but we are relieved with how everything turned out.

One of the most challenging aspects of loving someone who has a terminal illness is that every single issue has the potential to cause very serious complications.

My mom is the toughest, strongest person I know and walking with her out of that hospital room today felt even more poignant than it normally would have, given that it's International Women's Day.

I love my mom more than I could ever express!
"Fly Me to the Moon" is one of our songs.

Happy Tails to you!

Seven Years Since Surgery!

March 4th is a pretty big day in Ginny's life...seven years ago today, she had spinal surgery!

We had no idea how well things would turn out, and I remember how terrified I was that morning as if it were yesterday. We were very, very fortunate and we know it, because now here we are, all these years later, and she's continuing to do very well. There was no guarantee she wouldn't spend the rest of her life paralyzed and confined to a canine wheelchair, as was the fate of one of our other family Dachshunds, Holly, who had the same surgery. The only difference is that we caught Ginny's disc degeneration earlier. We still feel profound gratitude for the expert care she received and are so proud that she is an IVDD survivor! She is one tough little dog!

It seems particularly appropriate that she had the spinal surgery on March 4th...the date is literally a set of instructions: march forth! Fitting because the surgery corrected disc issues that were causing her pain while walking!

She's now a little slower, with some frosting on her face and a preference for long naps in sun, and that's just the way we like it!

this week...looking regal

March 4, 2014

March 4, 2014

Happy Tails to you!